so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
