where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
