I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
