So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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