I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize