Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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