either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize