It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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