Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Randomize
