True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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