I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
