I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
