I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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