I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
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