That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
