We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
