Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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