I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
