I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
