Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize