I want to stick my p in your. b.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
