wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
do herpes really smell.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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