I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
