so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize