no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
