I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
