My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
