sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
