Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
