Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
