There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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