why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize