two words...techno handjob
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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