Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
