Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
