So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
