Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize