I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
