Where is the hickey?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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