I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
