Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She said her name was "party"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my shit smells like andre
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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