first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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