$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize