Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
