And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
