the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
