i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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