If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
