i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
