You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
