at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
