is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
