Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize