So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Pooping to opera.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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