People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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