While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
