i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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